Esplanade
I just saw the new list of Neologisms from the Wash.Post, where "esplanade" means a drunken explanation. Too bad I don't know what this word is supposed to mean, so now it means only this funny thing to me. "En garde, English! We shall deform thee!" And I mean gleefully, as of course that's how we got here in the first place. So, "We shall help thee grow!" If only it were so easy to make "y'all" a mainstay of every English dialect. Just think of it, a second person plural pronoun that distinguishes itself from the singular! Since "you guys" just will not do.
I did do it, sit down and write with a pen (for the encouragement, thanks). it was just as helpful as I knew it would be, and also exceedingly difficult. I don't know what exaclty has been making it so difficult. I can barely think of myself as a writer much less having any kind of block (bloc). yet this was happening, just as I've heard about so many times.
And now I'm here, closer to the truth. But how much do I allow myself to reveal in this public forum? I've been super candid here in the past, and true to form, certain relatives swooped in with criticism, complaint, even attack. So I doubted the wisdom of letting people I'm related to see something so personal. Even now, are they reading this? I'm no longer traveling, (obviously) adventuring, so maybe that blog of Nicolas' has been written off as passée. A particular dose of that negative feedback (and so it was) led me to put all these caveats on the opening page, about this place being whatever the fuck I want to put here, and whatever way (with whatever language!).
So I erred. Not totally, but enough. I'm gonna take those caveats away, too lengthy and wordy, apologist in origin if not in form. How do they say, "what you see is what you get?" I thought this was implicit, I've made it explicit, now it needs to die. Again I see myself talking more about a thing than doing it.
The beautiful thing here is that I can't help but do both, ya dig?
I did do it, sit down and write with a pen (for the encouragement, thanks). it was just as helpful as I knew it would be, and also exceedingly difficult. I don't know what exaclty has been making it so difficult. I can barely think of myself as a writer much less having any kind of block (bloc). yet this was happening, just as I've heard about so many times.
And now I'm here, closer to the truth. But how much do I allow myself to reveal in this public forum? I've been super candid here in the past, and true to form, certain relatives swooped in with criticism, complaint, even attack. So I doubted the wisdom of letting people I'm related to see something so personal. Even now, are they reading this? I'm no longer traveling, (obviously) adventuring, so maybe that blog of Nicolas' has been written off as passée. A particular dose of that negative feedback (and so it was) led me to put all these caveats on the opening page, about this place being whatever the fuck I want to put here, and whatever way (with whatever language!).
So I erred. Not totally, but enough. I'm gonna take those caveats away, too lengthy and wordy, apologist in origin if not in form. How do they say, "what you see is what you get?" I thought this was implicit, I've made it explicit, now it needs to die. Again I see myself talking more about a thing than doing it.
The beautiful thing here is that I can't help but do both, ya dig?
posted by Nicolas at 9:58 AM
2 Comments:
I'm so incredibly sorry that someone felt it necessary to criticize what you've written in here! I can't believe it. I have found you to be not only entertaining, informative and expansive, but also vulnerable and brave in that vulnerability. When I traveled in Europe, the year I met your uncle, I was so afraid so much of the time that I didn't really appreciate then what I was learning about myself and my abilities. I've only learned since that I did really well in acquiring the skills I picked up for my future, that life itself is the greatest journey. I appreciate so much your frankness and sharing of those very personal adventures you've been having. Don't think you've stopped 'traveling' just because you're 'home' now. Your life is only beginning and is the best adventure in and of itself. I think it's great you're writing. I think it's great that you are who you are. So I wouldn't listen to those who can't 'hear' you and feel blessed that you're actually sharing yourself with us. I thank you for it. It's the only you that I know.
Keep on keepin' on...
Lisa
gosh, thanks.
yeah, it's not been easy to figure out, but I will eventually...
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